My 15 seconds of fame raised $25K for Covenant House International on What’s Trending’s Tubeathon last week. Sure, there were others involved, like Destorm Power, Lindsey Sterling and Hank Green, as well as everyone who Tweeted #fiestamovement and #Tubeathon so that Ford would donate $1. But we all know my killer jokes inspired the bulk of the bank. Thanks to hosts Shira Lazar and Vanilla Ice for a great time!
I’m not saying I did this right. Just less wrong. I try my best to correctly interpret President Barack Obama’s speech at the Nelson Mandela memorial.
Now that the world has exposed Thamsanqa Jantjie’s fake signing, this is my big break into the sign-language industry. No, I haven’t taken any sign-language classes. I am going on pure instinct. Which might make me perfect for the job.
Who would’ve thought my culture-blending “Shalom Cabrón” shirt would cause so much controversy? I sell this funny shirt at my comedy shows, based on my joke about mixing my Jewish and quarter-step Mexican heritages. Fans will occasionally post pictures of themselves wearing my merch and it makes me feel like a big star with a clothing line.
But something unexpected happened on Facebook yesterday.
It all started as an innocent repost of this cute girl modeling my shirt, with duck lips as a bonus.
Then, instead of a silver t-shirt, someone saw a red flag.
Not to worry. The Mexican who originally taught me the word came to the rescue. My step-father, Jaime Valle, reassured Facebook that Mexicans often use the word in a friendly way.
No matter how hard we tried to stop it, the panic spread.
Things started to get out of hand. Was I on the brink of a race war? Seeing as it was the last night of Hanukkah, I decided to fan the flames on this Mexican menorah!
Finally, we were finding some understanding. I began to realize this was simply a Jewish mother who was concerned only for my well-being and not for diminishing the stereotype that Jewish mothers are neurotic.
The fans began to remember what this pic was really about. Racial harmony. And hot girls.
No, nobody remembers that the translated “Mitsubishi Masturbater” rubbed Latin Americans the wrong way. It became a collector’s item, so you may want to pick up a Shalom Cabrón tee before I have to change it to “Shalom Montero.”
*Wear at your own risk.
Shalom Cabrón T-Shirt (Men)Combine the best of cultures with this quarter-step-Mexican-Jew catchphrase!
A while back, I finally realized what that meant. If I want to “make it,” I have to make it. So, I made this special (get it here).
This special is a way for my current fans to enjoy and for new fans to discover me. As Smooth-E, it’s my mission to make the world “Surrender to the Blender.” That’s why I’m happy, excited, proud (and a little exhausted) to announce the release my debut one-hour special, “Eric Schwartz aka Smooth-E – Surrender to the Blender.”
Why produce it on my own? I had been trying to record a special for several years. But it seemed every time someone would become interested in producing it, we would hit a roadblock or they would drop the ball. I eventually realized the only way to get it done was to take matters into my own hands. … Read More